September Goals

Well friends, since I skipped/forgot/omitted/ignored my August goal planning, I feel that this month we should begin with the most important goal: make goals!

August was filled to the brim with soaking in the tail end of summer. Our sweet Paul is growing like a weed and loves showing off his gummy smile and belly laughs as he turned four months old. Matt and I spent a weekend in Orange Beach (sans baby) to celebrate our third wedding anniversary and it was pure (and needed) bliss. We wrapped up the month with a week with family at a beach house on Perdido Key Beach and have been sneaking back on the weekends for extra sunshine and family time. Hop on over to Instagram to recap our August fun.

I don't know if it is life as a new mama with a babe in hand (well, on the hip) or the feeling of summer coming to an end that makes life feel like it is passing by at lightening speed. My goal this fall is to slow down, be intentional with my moments, soak in these fleeting days with my son and truly be present where I am in this season. Here's to setting goals that both put a smile on my face and squirm in my seat.

September Goals

Step out of my comfort zone + visit three local MOPS groups.

Kick off the school year with our church's annual youth canoe trip.

Plan one activity each week for Paul + mama time out of the house.

Block out more "white space" in my schedule.

Go for a walk/run 3x a week.

Implement social media free days on the Sabbath.

Prioritize blogging + nail my niche.

The Day I {Really} Became A Mother

"He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Three months (three is my favorite number, so you know this is going somewhere good) prior to beginning a relationship with my husband, I answered an altar call where I was given a prophetic prayer that, well, confused me. The pastor spoke "wife" and "mother" over me, saying that God was going to use me in those roles to fulfill His kingdom work. For those who didn't know me then, you should know that not only was I not in a relationship with anyone at that point to help me become a "wife" or "mother," I had never dated anyone. Ever. I remember leaving the service joking with my sister, "Well, I guess I'm getting married soon!"

Fast forward three months, and I began dating the man that I now call my husband. The journey to becoming Matt's wife is one filled with God's handprint marked all over it (including hearing from God that I would marry a man named "Matthew" when I was 10 years old!), but that is a story I will save for another time.

On our very first date, we opened up to each other about everything. All the little messy, fun and hidden details of our lives (looking back - who does that on the first date?!). When he asked me the question, "What do you want to do after college?" I rambled on about pursuing a career in public relations or education, due to my degrees. After doing so, I felt a little tug in my heart to open up to him even more, and told him what I really want to be was a wife and mom - one who is dedicated to making little disciples for Christ and leading her home in that which builds His kingdom. This desire in my heart to be a wife and mother stemmed from even my childhood longings to serve God in that manner, and the previous prophecy spoken over me was no where near the forefront of my mind. I knew sharing this with him would either scare him away with the idea that he would be the sole provider for a family, or, he would react how he did: promise that he would make that happen.

Fast forward one year, and he made me a wife.

Fast forward two years, and I began to doubt again. While I mocked God the day that I received that prophecy, I witnessed His word coming true through the creation of our marriage. I immediately knew that God was going to not only answer His promise of making me a wife and mother, but that He would do it fully. I began to doubt when we felt called to start a family...and it didn't happen. It didn't happen for three months, then three months turned into six months, then six months turned into nine months. Nine months that I longed to carry a baby turned into nine months of infertility. I was struggling deep in my soul to trust that God was going to do more than fulfill only 50% of the desires of my heart, of His heart. I should have known better.

Fast forward three years, and he made me a mother.

Three years from that very first moment that I shared with my husband that I wanted to be a mother, God fulfilled it in its entirety with our firstborn son. (Read 'A Birth Story: Paul Harrison Roberts' Part I and Part II)

Fast forward to last month, when I left not only my job, but my corporate career, to become a full time and stay at home wife and mama.

My eight to five days donning fresh Starbucks, stilettos, working with the local media and managing communications for an organization now look like 'round the clock mornings, afternoons and nights warming the same cup of coffee five times, spit up covered pajamas, reruns of my favorite shows and the best, warmest and most important snuggles and kisses with my sweet son.

Standing on my current mountaintop, I am able to see the words spoken years ago come to life. I am so thankful for the calling that Christ has placed on our family and that He has made the way for our new, little family to walk into that calling. From a new job for my husband to miracle situations, we are living out the dreams that we shared with each other four years ago in that small diner over lunch. I can't wait to see where this beautiful path leads and what will be fulfilled through us to further advance His glorious kingdom.

Moral of the story: don't ignore the little voice inside of you calling you to something greater, something that scares you. Trust Him to bring you through it and to it.

Paul Harrison: A Family Session

I am so thankful that in the midst of sleepless nights, empty cups of coffee, dirty diapers and postpartum tears that we were able to capture these early days with our sweet Paul Harrison. Thank you Naomi McIntosh Photography for capturing these legacy memories that we will cherish always.

Our dear friend, Judy, wrote this beautiful poem for Paul the morning after he was born. We are so honored to have her attentively listening to God's voice and sharing His word over Paul with us. Judy, you are a blessing!  

A Prayer for Paul
Ten little fingers. Ten little toes.
One little boy, with Daddy's nose.
Jesus I ask that You command
Guardian angels to be at hand
Watching protecting our little Paul
To Catch him gently when he falls.
Holy Spirit call his name,
That he will hear it loud and plain.
Teach him Jesus, of Your Love.
Light his path from heaven above.
God has chosen just for Paul,
a loving family in each and all.
Pray him thru trial and error.
Keep him on the straight and narrow.
God bless Paul, Your tiny sparrow.
Thank You Lord for quiver and arrow

Paul Harrison, we are so glad that you joined our family when you did. We can't wait to see you become the mighty warrior and disciple that God created you to be.

Mama is all about those fat lip kisses!

July Goals

This month marks a lot of big events for our little family. One major milestone has already happened as of this week: I am officially a stay at home mom (will be writing more about this soon)! This is a big leap of faith into a long-time calling on my life and I am so excited to fully step into this role as the full time homemaker and caregiver of our home.

In addition to soaking in all of the blessings that come from being a wife and mama, we are going to enjoy a lot of extra family time this month with holidays, seasonal events and family traditions filling us to the brim. This all is jump-started by just returning from a refreshing time in Georgia with my mom and sisters this past weekend. Our little family is loving this big summer of fun and family that we are having!

July Goals

Celebrate the Fourth of July with our family and friends.

Compile a bucket list for the last few weeks of summer.

Spend a week helping put on Vacation Bible School at our church.

Spend a week with Matt's family in Georgia at Indian Springs Holiness Campground (our absolute favorite summer family tradition!).

Establish a postpartum fitness plan and actually do it.
Organize my kitchen pantry.

Paul Harrison: A Newborn Session

I can't believe my little boy is already ten weeks old today! Time flies too quickly these days - the little dimples, hairs and smiles have all already begun to change and have become distant memories held best through photographs. I am so thankful that Naomi McIntosh Photography was able to capture these sweet moments of Paul one week after we brought him home to join our new little family. This newborn session turned out perfectly - Paul was snoozing the afternoon away, the skies stayed sunny and we were able to capture a wide variety of photos. I am so excited to begin adding these photos to our home and in Paul's EL Baby Book. These a few of my favorites from the session. Enjoy!

June Goals

My husband and I are beyond blessed to have the pleasure of both of our families living locally, and with a new baby in tow, we are realizing this all the more. From instant babysitters and lots of cousin play dates to big family dinners and legacy memories made, we are soaking it in for all that it is worth. This month, my goals are reflecting days of relishing in our newly formed family of three and the gift of having our dear ones close during this season.

June Goals

Celebrate Paul's baptism and Matt's first Father's Day.

Celebrate the birth of Paul's newest twin cousins - Micah and Titus. 

Plan and go on a Spitznagel gals weekend trip to Georgia.

Enjoy summer nights and weekends grilling and dining on the back porch.

Celebrate my niece turning three years old and help plan a princess birthday brunch.
Spend time by the pool soaking in the sun, swimming and eating lots of watermelon with family.

Spend Matt's days off work sleeping in, cooking breakfast together, watching morning cartoons and relishing in being a family of three.

May Goals

Seeing as it is nearly the end of May, I am going to give myself a big spoonful of grace in goal setting this month. I've been soaking in baby smells, snuggles, God's provision and lots of newness as this chapter of motherhood fully unfolds.

I feel as if April should have had one goal: have a baby! That in itself was quite the accomplishment, with very surprising outcomes and recovery. If you haven't already read Paul's birth story, catch up on it here and here. While it was a busy month, I was able to accomplish everything on my list!

April Goals

Go on maternity leave at work Can proudly say I worked until the day he was born - only one day shy of my planned leave date!

Enjoy a mani/pedi date with my sister-in-loves and our three year old niece (who is finally moving back to this side of the country and made this request - so precious!) Paul made his appearance when they went, but I had a fabulous time with out of town friends getting this special treat post-baby!

Host an early birthday dinner for Matt (since his birthday is Paul's induction day!) Many called me crazy, but with the help of family, I was able to successfully throw Matt a birthday dinner post-baby!

Finish reading Baby Wise and The Happiest Baby on the Block 

I am finding that reading what is relevant from week to week, or situation to situation, is better than trying to absorb everything at once.

Get induced on April 23 (that's right - in ten days!) We'll just say I accomplished this in a roundabout way!

Fully relish in coming home with Paul and enjoying our new life as a family of three Yes and yes!

With a mere four days left in the month, I am still going to stay optimistic with a good list of goals. We've been taking it easy since Paul's arrival, resting when possible, watching my postpartum recovery, watching Paul's recovery from his first cold, savoring lots of family time and finding our new "normal." Today I was cleared by my doctor on every note and as of last week, my friend and I have reestablished our weekly dates, so I'm already checking three items off my list. Summer is in the air, and we're ready to enter into these new seasons of growth, change, fun and family time!

May Goals

Reestablish weekly coffee dates with my dearest friend, Brittany. (check out her blog here!)

Host one of my long time, out of town friends for a week

Receive doctor's permission to start working out

Receive doctor's permission to begin tapering off my postpartum medications

Work on establishing Paul's schedule, prepping for his two month schedule change

Work on establishing a new schedule for myself as a mom

Fill out Paul's baby book while I can still remember things (just received the beautiful EL's Baby Book!)

A Birth Story: Paul Harrison Roberts (Part II)

(Read 'A Birth Story: Paul Harrison Roberts Part I' here.)

 

After nodding off only a handful of times between staring at the glowing pictures of my son on my charging phone and savoring cold ice chips, my husband and mom woke just as the first visitors of the day arrived. It was so odd, to have visitors coming to see my son, when I had only seen him for a moment myself. After bringing me fruits and coffees and baked goods, they would say their hellos to me and disappear to see Paul, coming back with bright smiles and new photos for me to see. I could only crave to see him more.

With my doctor's orders to take me off my magnesium drip and with regaining feeling in my legs, I took my first step out of bed since laying down in the OR. I was told that if I could walk, eat and clean up, I was allowed to see Paul. Talk about motivation. I not only ate an entire meal and showered, but I made sure that my hair, make up and outfit were perfect. I needed to feel like myself. I needed to be myself. I was going to see my son for what felt like the actual first time. As if I was going on a date for the first time, I was so nervously excited and ready beyond all belief to hold what I knew for nine months.

 

My husband wheeled me slowly down to the NICU, acting as if picking up the phone, speaking NICU language to get in, scrubbing fingertip to elbow and getting visitor passes were something he had done a thousand times already. After wheeling through two rooms full of babies and nurses and doctors and parents, he slowly wheeled me to an incubator, will the smallest little boy laying nearly naked, hooked up to oxygen, IVs and monitors. I couldn't help but tear up and ask, "Is this him? This is really him?" He already looked so different than when I kissed him in the OR. He already looked so different than the photos I stared at for hours. 

I slowly stood up and grabbed the nearest nurse to my arm. "Can I hold him?" How odd, asking permission to hold my son, the one I held for nine months inside of me. Without any hesitation, she opened the incubator, and placed my small, warm, beautiful son in my arms. I wept.

After soaking in perfect moments with my son, I retired to my room to rest. Forcing myself to sleep felt like the hardest thing I had ever done. I wanted to be with him. I wanted him with me. I wanted him next to me. After waking from a few hours of rest, I was transferred from the L&D room to a postpartum recovery room.

I stayed in recovery for two more nights. One with Paul in the NICU and one with Paul joining us in our room. That night was perfection, in the best way that it could be. The three of us, my husband, son and I were all finally together. My husband and I shared my bed, with our son by our side.

On Sunday, April 19, Paul was transferred from our room to the nursery due to continuing respiratory issues. After much back and forth between doctors and nurses and nursery visits, Matt and I received one of the best calls of our life: Paul was officially cleared for discharge and coming back to our room. I still cannot recall a moment before then that I have seen my husband's face with a bigger smile or look of relief. We were finally on the home stretch of this long four day journey. Within moments, our son arrived in our room and we packed our bags to head home.

I will never forget our drive home. For weeks, I would look back in my rear view mirror at the empty car seat, wondering what our little babe would look like, sound like, be like. Here I was, sitting next to my son, soaking in his perfect face, with my amazing husband looking in the mirror back at us, smiling. Our little family of three was finally together, finally home.

The road to postpartum recovery has not been easy. Due to my diagnosis with preeclampsia, I have had continued high blood pressure for nearly five weeks now. With many, many doctor visits, ER visits, medications, bed rest, house arrest, complications and scares, I am finally on the mend and getting on the high road to a full recovery from high blood pressure, surgery and overall postpartum recovery. The road to motherhood was not what I envisioned it would be, but I would relive the past month in a heartbeat if it leads me to my son. I have a "mommy mark" on my stomach to remind me of Paul's amazing birth story and give God all of the glory and praise for giving us these memories and moments that have led me to where I am at this very moment: snuggled up on the couch with my endearing husband and cooing baby boy. God is good, all the time.