Thursday, July 16, 2015

The Day I {Really} Became A Mother


"He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Three months (three is my favorite number, so you know this is going somewhere good) prior to beginning a relationship with my husband, I answered an altar call where I was given a prophetic prayer that, well, confused me. The pastor spoke "wife" and "mother" over me, saying that God was going to use me in those roles to fulfill His kingdom work. For those who didn't know me then, you should know that not only was I not in a relationship with anyone at that point to help me become a "wife" or "mother," I had never dated anyone. Ever. I remember leaving the service joking with my sister, "Well, I guess I'm getting married soon!"

Fast forward three months, and I began dating the man that I now call my husband. The journey to becoming Matt's wife is one filled with God's handprint marked all over it (including hearing from God that I would marry a man named "Matthew" when I was 10 years old!), but that is a story I will save for another time.

On our very first date, we opened up to each other about everything. All the little messy, fun and hidden details of our lives (looking back - who does that on the first date?!). When he asked me the question, "What do you want to do after college?" I rambled on about pursuing a career in public relations or education, due to my degrees. After doing so, I felt a little tug in my heart to open up to him even more, and told him what I really want to be was a wife and mom - one who is dedicated to making little disciples for Christ and leading her home in that which builds His kingdom. This desire in my heart to be a wife and mother stemmed from even my childhood longings to serve God in that manner, and the previous prophecy spoken over me was no where near the forefront of my mind. I knew sharing this with him would either scare him away with the idea that he would be the sole provider for a family, or, he would react how he did: promise that he would make that happen.

Fast forward one year, and he made me a wife.

Fast forward two years, and I began to doubt again. While I mocked God the day that I received that prophecy, I witnessed His word coming true through the creation of our marriage. I immediately knew that God was going to not only answer His promise of making me a wife and mother, but that He would do it fully. I began to doubt when we felt called to start a family...and it didn't happen. It didn't happen for three months, then three months turned into six months, then six months turned into nine months. Nine months that I longed to carry a baby turned into nine months of infertility. I was struggling deep in my soul to trust that God was going to do more than fulfill only 50% of the desires of my heart, of His heart. I should have known better.

Fast forward three years, and he made me a mother.


Three years from that very first moment that I shared with my husband that I wanted to be a mother, God fulfilled it in its entirety with our firstborn son. (Read 'A Birth Story: Paul Harrison Roberts' Part I and Part II)

Fast forward to last month, when I left not only my job, but my corporate career, to become a full time and stay at home wife and mama.

My eight to five days donning fresh Starbucks, stilettos, working with the local media and managing communications for an organization now look like 'round the clock mornings, afternoons and nights warming the same cup of coffee five times, spit up covered pajamas, reruns of my favorite shows and the best, warmest and most important snuggles and kisses with my sweet son.

Standing on my current mountaintop, I am able to see the words spoken years ago come to life. I am so thankful for the calling that Christ has placed on our family and that He has made the way for our new, little family to walk into that calling. From a new job for my husband to miracle situations, we are living out the dreams that we shared with each other four years ago in that small diner over lunch. I can't wait to see where this beautiful path leads and what will be fulfilled through us to further advance His glorious kingdom.

Moral of the story: don't ignore the little voice inside of you calling you to something greater, something that scares you. Trust Him to bring you through it and to it.

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